adventures in pregnancy

To say my pregnancy has been an adventure would be a total lie.

Since the day I found out I was pregnant, everyone kept telling me, "just you wait, you'll start feeling like crap any day now..." and I expected to feel it. I waited, and it just never came. I have felt sick a couple of times for a few minutes, and only feel tired enough to sneak in a nap after work every once in awhile. I haven't had any cravings yet, although fresh foods sound good most of the time. A couple of times a specific thing has sounded really good and I MUST have it, but after I do, it pretty much goes away. If I didn't know any better, I would think I was designed specifically to carry babies.

Probably the most prominent pregnancy symptom I have experienced are the crazy emotions. I have a lot of normal, good days, but mixed in with those days, have been some major highs and major lows. Some days I will pull out the teeniest tiniest little onesie and can't help but squeal, knowing the little body that will fill one day will be my baby. Or sometimes the silliest things will give me the worst giggle fit. But then an hour later, I will be screaming at Cole because I can't find the cheese. I seem to get irritated a lot quicker than before. My fuse seems much shorter these days, and any comment that slightly rubs the wrong way is...not good. One day, my heart aches to have the baby here and I wish so badly that I didn't have to wait so long. Then the next day, the thought of being responsible for another human's life, well-being, and care will make me burst into tears and/or have a panic attack.

All in all, Baby and I have been relatively boring and I couldn't be more grateful for it.

Cole has taken very good care of me since day 1. He is always so concerned about me doing too much and does everything he can to make sure I literally don't lift a finger. He checks in with me daily to see exactly how I'm feeling, and Googles A LOT about pregnancy and baby stuff. He makes sure the house is clean every single day; and although I hassle him sometimes about the way he loads the dishwasher, coming home knowing I don't have ANY work to do makes my day. I think the most work I've done is probably making the bed every once and awhile. He better be careful, because I could really get used to this :) If any of you know Cole, you know he is an extreme planner. He has planned for just about everything leading up to the birth and well after. We've already had a discussion about starting college savings, which honestly is not unusual for Cole. Thanks to him, only a few months into it, I already feel secure and ready for this baby and its future.

There are certain events in life that I have looked forward to since I was young. I imagined exactly how I wanted things to go, how they would look, how I would feel, and so on. And to tell the truth, most of those things that I planned in my head didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted. I have slowly learned that life rarely turns out the way you expect it to.

However, this entire experience has been my exception. The way I feel, the way I pictured each ultrasound going, getting our first onesie and realizing how shockingly tiny it is, each element of "having my first baby", has been more than I could imagine. It might be partially because it has been such an easy road so far, or maybe because we took more time getting here than most, so there was more anticipation but this experience, more than any, has given me the absolute feeling that I am where I am supposed to be. Daily, I have a confirmation that every single thing in my life has lead me right here.

This sounds really glowy and happy, and if I look back on this post in 5 months, I will probably want to rip my own head off. But for right now, I feel like the luckiest person on the planet.

Anyway, I am 13 weeks (*on a side note, I was so bugged when pregnant people always referred to everything in weeks and I swore I would NEVER be like that. It makes so much more sense now, but I still can't tell if counting by weeks makes it go faster or slower), our last appointment we were able to see the baby move A TON. I feel like I am growing ahead of schedule. My belly grows more each week, and if it continues to go as fast as it has been, I am seriously in for it. Our next appointment is next week and we can't wait. We both look forward to those days like its a holiday. My doctor said she might be able to tell the sex, but we aren't counting on it. We've had a ton of guesses, and some people are absolutely sure they're correct.....Cole thinks its a girl, both my parents think its a boy, Cole's dad thinks its a girl, Cole's mom thinks its a boy. I am only slightly leaning towards boy, but I am pretty much just excited to know.

So that is my pregnancy so far. We consider ourselves really lucky and can't wait for this little one to join our family!